Can't weight to wipe...

When shopping in the supermarket the other day, I had to utilize their public restrooms. I usually try to acquire the handicap stall, because I need the extra room to reach my nasty bits when wiping. Because there was a skinny blonde with no handicap whatsoever confiscating the stall, I had to subject myself to the "regular" stall. Whew! At least I only had to do #1...or I thought it was only going to be #1...NOPE...not just #1...gotta love those little (or big) surprises. So, how was I going to handle this? I had to dismantle the Personal Hygeine disposal from the wall. This gave me a little more maneuver room. Just not enough to reach everything. This sucks. I could try standing up...putting my foot on the toilet (praying it doesn't slip and go in) and try to bend and get it that way...NOPE. Didn't work. Well, crap (literally)...I had to go back into the store...finish shopping...check out...get in my car and drive home to finish necessary wiping duties. What the hell? I am fat, yes...I weigh more than I've ever weighed in my life. How do people fatter than me do this? HIT A WALL...A BRICK SHIT WALL. I can't live like this. I can't walk around with this shit...literally. Luckily, I was buying the necessary ingredients to go back on the wagon and lose this ridiculous amount of weight. Current weight...340